Wett All Over: The Meaning of Shower - welcome

Welcome to Wett All Over: The Meaning of Shower, a blog about something you probably do most days, every day or maybe more than once a day.

I think there's more going on in there than perhaps we realised. Let's take a look, shall we...

A Shower Catalogue

Above: Go on Steve, please tell us what you found in your shower

I guessed there were 27 things in my shower. Here's what I found:-

1. A rectangular non-steam mirror (sucker-attached)

Left: 2. A corner shelf (sucker-attached, not 100% reliable)

Left: 3. A hanging shelf (suspended from showerhead arm; not quite straight)

4. Backbrush

5. Hairnet (guess)

6. Showerscreen sponge cleaner

7. Bar of soap

8. Nailbrush

9. Razor (his) - Mach 3

10. Razor (hers) - pink

Above: 11. A rectangular bucket full of cold water

12. Prince shaving gel aerosol (from Aldi)

13. Bodyshop Brazil Nut Bath and Shower Cream

14. Oscar Natural Shaving Oil (free sample)

15. Cedel Anti-Dandruff shampoo

16. Harvard Shower Gel

17. Unbranded AM/FM splash and dust-resistant radio

18. OC Organic Care Scalpcare Anti-Dandruff Plantactif

19. St Ives Apple Blush Moisturing Body Wash

20. Botanics: The Power of Plants Bathing Softening Body Wash

21. L'Oreal Elvire Illuminating Shampoo, Nutri-Gloss, Pearl Protein

22. Keune Care Line Shampoo Volume

23. Perfect Potion Detox Body Buff - Juniper Grapefruit Nuts

24. Shower Power Amazing Bathroom Cleaner

25. Charles Worthington Results Moisture-Seal Glossing Shampoo (with red sticker stating 'Reduced to $6.47')

26. Blue tray for holding things in (holding two razors and shaving gel)

Left: 27. A mysterious little bottle cap

28. Bonus track/Easter Egg: Little white tracker grommet from sliding door.

Now you may find it suspicious that I guessed there were 27 things in my shower and that I found 27 (plus a little bonus thing). Well, it's true. That means that either  I already 'knew' how many things were in my shower, though I assure you I've never counted them (who would do such a thing?); or it was a lucky guess.

My shower obsession

Not so long ago I found myself more than a little keen on keeping the showerscreen clean, to the point where I actually enjoyed washing it with items (6), the showerscreen sponge cleaner, and (24), the Shower Power Amazing Bathroom Cleaner.

I put this down to a mild dose of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, probably brought about by my wife having cancer for the second time. (She's fine now, thanks for asking.) She suggested I try transferring my concern about the showerscreen to the toilet, and get obsessive about cleaning that, too. I had to explain to her patiently that I don't think it works like that, though I'd give it a go. And actually, you can redirect your OCD if you wish - or I can, anyway. You know how going for a run is always such a pain, but when you get going it's fine? Or how tidying up is a chore, but then you get into it and you're off and running (hang on I'm getting things confused now). Well, cleaning a shower or cleaning a toilet is like that. Not that I'm an expert or anything: I try not to let the feeling overtake me too much.

Usually I like to clean the showerscreens while I'm showering, which involves aiming the showerhead at the screens to rinse them, swivelling the head, raising the arm, increasing the waterflow so that it reaches far enough to hit near the top of the screen and flow down. This complicated combination requires lots of contortion and making the shower point in directions it doesn't want to, like directing a recalcitrant shopping trolley or reversing a trailer. But wetter.

I don't think, what with the shaving and the showerscreen cleaning, I manage to get in and out in three minutes, somehow.